ableism monday round up- social cue shaming

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

ableism monday round up- social cue shaming

wearingthewifelyuniform:

What is this” social cue” shaming I keep talking about, and why is it bad? Why am I enraged at the fact that everyone does it? First, understand that it applies to people with autism (hi!) and the fact that we find social rules difficult to follow because they aren’t written in our brains. That means rwe may do things that others perceive as stupid and clueless. Some examples from my life-
pretending to be a harry potter character when stressed.
not understand rules of conversation and thus talking out of turn.
not recognizing trolls and thus feeding them.
asking blunt questions (so you’re gay, right?) perceived as impolite because I couldn’t ascertain the nature of the appropriateness.
talking about my obsessions.

Sometimes I just like to be clued in regarding social rules that I didn’t acquire and so don’t know. Other times I like not to be bothered (if it’s not hurting anyone.) From feminists who claim to care about disabilities, though, I consistently get social cue shamed (shakethecobwebs). And it’s not just a little thing. It doesn’t just hurt my feelings.

It reminds me that you’re smarter and more capable than me. It makes me think i’m a bit less human than you. It makes me feel like a child. It makes me feel like everyone else has got it figured out. Not true. When public events happen and I relate them to harry potter, feminists tend to get all ragey, tell me I am too into harry potter and they wish they could go a day without a reference to a silly children’s story. Yay, police my obsessions more, why don’t you.

Social cue shaming is when you rudely tell me what is appropriate- what normal, allistic people do- without me asking for you to. Its you telling me to get back in line. Be more normal. Quite frankly, it’s dehumanizing but it’s quite common in activism/feminism.

Just something to ponder.

because you allistic douchefucks need a fucking refresher