Nico

sinshine:

This. Article. Is. Amazing. Somewhat triggering in spots, but well worth reading in its entirety.

She’s a doctor, and an “autism mom”. Then one day she met an autistic self advocate. And she listened. 

aspergersissues:

My best friend has started an awesome blog about her experience as an adult with autism. Be sure to check it out. Here’s the first post:

“Do you shit your pants? Because that’s what autistic people do. They shit their pants, and go into uncontrollable rages.”

As the doctor’s curly-topped anvil-face inched closer to mine, I froze, like a rabbit in the headlights. I literally didn’t know what to do. His reaction was the last thing I’d expected. It took me another ten minutes of sexist twaddle like, “You seem like a bright young woman. Insomnia is usually a sign of a depressive episode coming on, and since that’s what you were diagnosed with, [this is after I’d been grilled on every (mis)diagnosis I’d had since infancy, and I’d stupidly answered honestly. He apparently picked his favorite out of six or seven] that’s probably what it is.”

I am a 30 year old Autistic woman. I won’t go into my appearance or mannerisms, because there are as many interpretations of such things as there are people (myself included; as if anyone can accurately describe how they seem!). The incident I’ve described happened well over a year ago; I’m thinking about it now because of yet another slightly less traumatic incident that happened yesterday, again in a doctor’s office. I’m a very busy person who engages in far more social activities than any autistic person has the right to; this leads to excessive use of semicolons and short periods of serious burnout accompanied by all the symptoms of stress: nausea, insomnia, skin conditions, weight loss, panic attacks, et cetera. In attempts to feel in control of what is about to happen, whenever I go into a doctor’s office, I make lists. I make lists all the time for many reasons.

Yesterday, I also happened to have with me a list of things I had to do this week. This filled an entire college-ruled notebook page, complete with a key at the top to denote tasks that involve financial hardship, those that could possibly be delayed, and those which had to be done ASAP. After ignoring almost everything I had said, asking questions and then interrupting the answers, the doctor then asked if he could photocopy my list. Despite the fact that various kinds of “doctors” have been photocopying my lists since I was 12 and nothing good has ever come of it, it always takes me by surprise, and I always reply affirmatively because I’ve been socially conditioned to agree or say yes when taken by surprise.

This attitude is more or less standard when medical professionals are dealing with someone they consider a mental defective. The content of what you say or do is meaningless; the way in which you say it, frame your thoughts, how many times you move your hands; that’s the real info source. So they photocopy your to-do list and put it in some arcane file with all the other evidence of how defective and abnormal you are. The same place they keep all the other papers that invalidate and dehumanize you. This is not reflective of transcendent reality, it reflects reality in regard to how it feels, which to be perfectly honest, is all reality is for any of us. Try and think a moment about what “empirical” means, textbook definition-wise, as “observable by the senses”. Now juxtapose that with empirical fact: my brain is physically different than a “normal” brain. Oh, snap.

My IQ is estimated to be somewhere between 138 and 167. My house is full of ashtrays, earplugs, and cats that interact with each other to an unfortunate degree. I think and speak more or less exactly how I write. I pin interestingly patterned pieces of fabric to my walls because they please me, and they also happen to interact with the cats, ashtrays, and earplugs to an unfortunate degree. I can write a ten-minute speech in less than five minutes, and a fifteen-page term paper in 8 hours, and read at a rate of 2 pages per minute/100 pages per hour. I have yet to see convincing evidence that numbers are finite, and therefore ignore them. I sometimes ask my fiancee to move objects out of the bedroom until I tell him to stop, because it reduces my stress levels and if I try and do it myself, I may start throwing things and crying. I wear pajamas whenever possible, and highly disapprove of women’s shoes. It is entirely possible I may never drive a car.

What I am saying is that people who think they know about autism, especially medical authorities, have been more detrimental to my life than people who know almost nothing. Perhaps it is only that laypeople consider it impolitic to inquire about ones’ toilet training or lack thereof that has saved me from general ridicule? When it comes to disclosing my disability status, I feel much safer talking to the general public than a person supposedly educated in matters of the brain and body. It could be because in speaking to the layperson, I’m the one speaking from the position of experience, and therefore, authority. It could also be because of the difference in setting, or attitude.

But the third and real reason I’m writing this is because I’m about to go listen to a group of people talk about their experiences with disclosing their disabilities, and until I have my say, it’s incredibly difficult for me to listen…really listen. So for their sake, and to give them the attention they deserve, I’d like to give a big Fuck You to the medical professionals who have made me feel confused, dehumanized, defective, hysterical, or hypochondriacal. Bite my bag.

Now, let’s put on our listening face.

allies-person:

Glee has a new character, Sugar Motta, a ridiculous, talentless, villain with self-diagnosed Aspergers.

She really did say the line in the headline, and then did in fact use as Aspergers as an excuse for rudeness, actually exclaiming “Aspergers!” after saying especially nasty things.

Here’s how Vanessa Lengies, the actress who plays Sugar, talks about the Aspergers issue:

Were you worried about the Asperger joke at all? That seemed to garner a strong reaction among some viewers.
No, I wasn’t. I think that’s something does very well. It talks about and addresses and touches on issues that are very sensitive to most people, but having the issues talked about on such a high-exposure show, it bring things to people’s conversation. I like that a lot about Glee.

Is that an aspect of the character we’re going to dig into deeper in the next few episodes?
Eric and I had this conversation where we weren’t sure if she has it or…I’m not sure to what degree it is until I see more [scripts]. But we definitely touch on it again. So far, to my knowledge, we don’t go into the depths of Sugar’s background yet, but it is part of her character.

This is not a good thing for “awareness.”  It’s making fun of those of us who are self-indentified, saying that we are basically making excuses so thay we can be rude to people with impunity.  It’s the same joke Australian comedian Denise Hall made a few months ago. It’s telling teachers and fellow students that it’s okay to what they do anyway: treat people with legitimate disabilities like they are just jerks who want special treatment.

And Lengies’ answer seems to indicate that there has been a lack of serious thought about how this might affect people who actually have Aspergers.  Or the self-identified, like myself.

So why am I not that annoyed? 

Because I have very low expectations for the writing on Glee.  I do not share the perception of my friend Beth Arky, from whom I learned about Sugar, who said: “Surprised, given that Glee has been ultra-sensitive about gays, OCD, cognitive delays, etc.”

Because Glee includes those things, but it hasn’t been especially sensitive about them.  The gay characters on Glee have been flaming queens, villains, or both.  It’s so great to see two sympathetically played guys as boyfriends in high school that I’m sure most straight people aren’t aware that a lot of gay men don’t like the fact that Kurt usually sings songs written for women. 

And Emma’s OCD has been the subject for a lot of ridicule.  Yes, the “Born This Way” episode was pretty cool about it, but my friend who has OCD isn’t really wild about all the the food-washing jokes. 

And then there’s Downs.  I have loved many of the things that the show has done with Becky and Jean, but I’ve also been bothered.  I don’t like it when they make Becky an animal (dressing her a “reindog” at Christmas, comparing her to chimp in this episode).  And I hated the way they played into the tendency to infantalize the developmentally disabled by making Jean’s funeral a Wonka-fest.

Glee producer Ryan Murphy has done a wonderful job of making characters from many minority groups visible on television, but he has always made that palatable to a general audience by marginalizing them.  The most extraordinary example of this was on his show Nip/Tuck, which included both the most senstive portrayal of a transsexual character I’ve ever seen on TV, and the most irresponsible.  So I wasn’t surprised when Glee’s Rocky Horror episode was weirdly transphobic.

And I wasn’t surprised to see Murphy add people with self-identified Aspergers to the groups he’s decided to slap around on TV in the name of “awareness” and “humor.”

It’s sort of what he does.

Urgh.  Go away, Glee.

This show would not bother me nearly as much if it did not try to be serious about social issues on occasion.  As much as Glee’s fans may shout “it’s just a musical/parody,” comments like Lengies’ (as well as much from the show itself) belie that notion.  Just stick to singing and ridiculousness, please.  When Glee tries to “bring things to conversation,” it rarely ends well.

Fuck you, Ryan Murphy.

(Source: goldenheartedrose)

scar-lip:

Part 1 is here

Our next part starts with an exciting situation in which a person without Asperger’s applies motives and thought processes to a near stranger based on his having Asperger’s. Let’s watch. Actually, you want to skip this. Put on some music you like, drink something you enjoy, and scroll down to where you see /Serious Trigger Warning letting you know that it’s slightly less dangerous to proceed. Serious Trigger Warning.

When I happened to be on a week-long group backpacking trip with a man with Asperger’s (he only told us about this at the end), it took some time to realize there was something different about him. I recall best that his normal ten-year-old son (they’d been sent out for a male bonding experience) was in agony from trying to carry a pack too heavy for him. His father told him it was because he had packed too much. This was surely the case, but Dad showed no sympathy or even annoyance.

This strikes me as being common. Also, it strikes me as being in need of context. Did the dad spend the time packing reminding his son to pack lighter? Were there arguments about what does and doesn’t need to be brought? Does the dad know his kid’s pack is too heavy because he spent time trying to get his kid to stop packing non-necessities? Did the dad offer to pack some things but his kid refused and insisted that he could do it?

Even just one of these being true and that’s not an unlikely response to the whining. If you warn someone about something and they ignore your warnings, hearing htem complain about it results in annoyance. That’s not a lack of empathy, that’s not a lack of proper social understanding/reaction. That’s the reason “I told you so” exists in the English language.

And it wouldn’t surprise me to find out that all of those happened, which makes it even more understandable.

Severe Trigger Warning (it’s that bad, seriously, consider just skipping this bit, if you are at all low on spoons- do not read this) It was not about teaching his son a lesson—that would have involved some complex social-emotional negotiations.

….Stop talking. Just, ugh, this is disgusting, the smugness. Did he say that? Did he say “No- Iw asn’t teaching him a lesson” or are you saying “this man clearly can’t handle the complex social-emotional negotiations involved in child rearing he’s just a cold-hearted jerk while normal parents who do the same thing are doig it for their kids own good!”

He was clueless about how to resolve this beyond next time seeing his son had a lighter pack.

Maybe this was teaching him a lesson, it was punishment, and making his kid carry the pack was so that he could spend a week having it drilled into him “I need to pack lighter”. 

Not the kindest thing- but it happens.

Something clearly had to be done, so my husband carried the boy’s pack on steep climbs. The father expressed no surprise or gratitude.

Your husband just interrupted his parenting without first running it by the boy’s father. Let me make it clear that I know full well that parents can be abusive- but how many parents do you know are grateful when someone undermines their authority?

Now, it apparently/allegedly didn’t upset the boy’s father- not enough for his response to be worthy of noting- so it’s not that bad. But that still doesn’t mean “Look at this man tormenting his poor child by making him carry a heavy backpack”

He was a very nice man, a nurse by profession, and a good one when I was injured on the trip.

So… Possibly someone who’s more aware of his child’s physical limits so would be more aware of wehther or not hte pack is “too heavy” as in “this will do damage to my child if I don’t help” vs. “too heavy” as in “I don’t want to carry this pack so I’m gonna whine but I can do it”, so it’s even more likely than it usually is that the dad would know he wasn’t hurting his kid by making him carry his own pack?

He could talk readily about his problem, and the fact his marriage had ended because his wife could not stand his lack of emotional empathy.

It happens.

But there was no way that he could be confused with an HSP, except perhaps by his acute awareness that he was different, which made him very sad. He could experience his own emotions, but he could not read the signs of the emotional experiences of others.

But if a lack of empathy is the problem- I’m definitely liable to confuse this person with what they seem to think a person with Asperger’s “disorder” is like (note: this has nothing to do with what people with Asperger’s are necessarily actually like).

/End Severe Trigger Warning

(trigger warning: Anti-Intersex/Dyadism, Binarism, Cissexism) We do know these disorders are genetically based—[…] For example, most but not all of the genes put boys more at risk than girls.

anti-intersex/dyadism and binarism and cissexism. I just love the smell of it in the morning. I will bet you money that she means “That put people with one X chromosome more at risk than people with more than one X chromosome.”

Just say that.

This whole part is just a lot of stuff that may very well be pseudo-science (Autism Spectrum conditions might be caused by “the zillion chemicals we are all ingesting these days”). It might have some basis, but I don’t know. so I’m skipping the rest.

An early diagnosis followed by the right treatment makes a huge difference in the outcome, so you do not want to make any mistakes here.

What the hell is the right treatment? Because often times treatment is incredibly abusive and damaging to people on the autism spectrum. It might make them more “socially acceptable”, but at what cost? When we stop living in a world where PTSD is preferable to being on the autism spectrum (being trans, having an intersex, not being straight, being anything not “normal”)- then I won’t have as much of a problem with it.

But really- depending on the situation, sometimes the right “treatment” is teaching the kid how to handle a world that doesn’t like them. Which isn’t a “treatment” like she’s suggesting.

Severe Trigger Warning (just go read something else, have a nice day) no one who loves a child or their parents would want to think about autism

…

If I have to explain why this is busted to all hell- get the fuck off my blog. Unfollow me right. now. if you don’t understand why it’s problematic to say no one would want to think someone they love might be autistic. Right now.

or is happy for twenty minutes merely watching a bicycle wheel spinning

I am so jealous of that kid. Why is it a disorder to be made happy by little things?

Sometimes sensitivity and ASDs are confused because the child with an ASD may have little or no ability to regulate emotions, and sensitive children, too, are more emotional than other children. But with ASDs, these behaviors are due to incorrectly processing perceptual stimulation all the time, not just when overstimulated.

Whereas HSP are just overstimulated by the world so are always overstimulated so…

Yeah.

[Suggesting an “insiders” book that’s written from the autistic perspective by a man who does not have autism. … What?]\

Again- if you don’t see the problem, get off my blog right now.

Everyone may be relieved to find a biological explanation, an ASD [as opposed to high sensitivity], especially since it absolves the parents of any blame.

Why the hell is high sensitivity not a biological condition? What the fuck is it?

Alas, such a diagnosis also reduces the hope of changing, of developing stronger social connections with practice.

…

I… yeah. Right. Of course.

Is this true? At all? Can people with Asperger’s, if they want to, not look at how they naturally interact with the world vs how most people do and find a way to help the two jive a bit better to improve reactions?

Emphasis on “if they want to”. If the rest of the world wants to jive with them- maybe we should be asking them how they interact with the world and work to change ourselves to fit that better.

Part 3 is here

Just want to add one or two things:

1) A lot of the stuff in this article does the distancing thing- the “oh, we aren’t one of them.” Crap that is so so so destructive. Distancing = Horrible WTFery. It is just as horrible as when MH folks distance from people with DDs, or people with Physical disabilities distance from people with MH disabilities, or even people On the autism spectrum with high IQ scores distance themselves from our Intellectually disabled brethren. It is distancing, and attempts to say that you are somehow less disabled, or at least not one of those “bad,” “wrong” sort of disabled folks. 

I guess it comes off as someone who is so desperate, because of their internalizing of ableism and anti-autistic bigotry, to make sure everyone knows they aren’t one of us. That they are some better, less disabled person. Ugh, Sorry, I hate distancing. 

2) anyone else pick up that for an “inside” look at what it is like to be autistic, they rec a novel by someone who is not autistic themselves? Who apparently in 2009 on his blog stated he’s not an expert on Autism, and the book wasn’t meant to be specifically about Autism? (You can have an autistic character and have it not be an Autism Book just as you can have a gay character and not have it be a Gay Book.) That in fact it goes directly against his wishes to be presented as an expert on the topic.

It’s not like there aren’t a ton of Autobiographical books by Autistic people. Some of them are certainly better than others, true, but they still exist. They are actually looking into the thoughts and experiences of Autistics themselves, instead of the speculation- however well informed- and dramatization of an outsider’s fictional account. 

But, perhaps, the Autobiographies didn’t play into the article’s Author’s distancing crap. Maybe some of them had things that were too familiar. Or things that destroyed the stereotyping that their dividing up HSP and ASDs into entirely separate worlds plays to. I know some if not most display experiences that play into the “intense world” theory which it does NOT look like the author is in favor of, going by what they describe ASDs as. 

(Source: korenaphotos)

allies-person:

scar-lip:

Part 1 is here
Part 2 is here

On the other hand, some adults decide they are highly sensitive when they actually do have an ASD. They want to find a normal explanation for something that is not normal.

High sensitivity is as normal as the autism spectrum. I, personally, think this means both are normal. But you can think that they’re both abnormal. It’s one or the other.

This is why this article is so messed up- because it is not saying “Here’s why high sensitivity, which is sometimes a disorder, is not on the autism spectrum, which are also sometimes disorders” it’s We’re normal- You aren’t.

That’s all I’m commenting on, because the rest is suggestions that are actually sensible- you know yourself best, get multiple opinions from multiple therapists if you can (she didn’t say this, but especially if the first diagnosis/lack thereof feels wrong) because you want the definite truth.

I made it its own part to underline it: this is a problem.

High sensitivity can be a disorder

The autistic spectrum are not always disorders

Insisting highly sensitive people are “normal’ and can’t possibly be disordered does a disservice both to people with other disorders and to highly sensitive people who are disordered. Insisting people on the autism spectrum aren’t “normal”? Disgusting.

Well, I disagree with breaking things up into “disordered” vs. “not disordered,” but other than that this series of posts are spot-on.

My childhood therapist decided I was a “highly sensitive person” way back when.  It’s interesting how this (made-up) label doesn’t really come with stigma, but an autism spectrum diagnosis?!  G-d forbid!

(Source: korenaphotos)

aspergersissues:

DAYTON, Ohio (CN) - Dayton police “mistook” a mentally handicapped teen-ager’s speech impediment for “disrespect,” so they Tasered, pepper-sprayed and beat him and called for backup from “upward of 20 police officers” after the boy rode his bicycle home to ask his mother for help, the boy’s mom says.
     Pamela Ford says her “mentally challenged/handicapped” son Jesse Kersey, 17, was riding his bike near his Dayton home when Officer Willie Hooper stopped him and tried to talk to him.
     The mom says that “Prior to the incident described below, defendant Hooper knew Jesse and was aware that Jesse was mentally challenged/handicapped and a minor child.”
     Nonetheless, Ford says, Hooper “apparently took Jesse’s speech impediment for disrespect … [and] began yelling at Jesse and after Jesse attempted to communicate with him[.] Jesse, being a minor and mentally challenged/handicapped, turned and rode his bike back to his home in an attempt to ask his mother, Ford, to help him communicate with defendant Cooper,” according to the complaint in Montgomery County Court.
     On the way, the mom says, “A neighbor attempted to communicate with Officer Hooper about Jesse’s disabilities and was told to go back into his home, or he would be arrested.”
     As Ford opened her front door, she says, Hooper and co-defendant Officer John Howard, “fired their Tasers, striking Jesse in the back with both probes.”
     ”Once inside the house, defendant Hooper and defendant Howard began to struggle with Jesse, who was standing against the back door with his hands up in front of his face, saying ‘Please quit, please quit.’
     ”On numerous occasions, Ford and a family friend, Christopher Peyton, informed Officer Hooper that Jesse was mentally challenged/handicapped, and that Jesse did not understand what was happening,” the complaint states.
     But the mom says the cops continued their assault: “Officer Howard utilized his Cap-Stun pepper spray and sprayed Jesse … [and] struck Jesse with a closed fist in the upper chest area.
     ”Officer Howard utilized his ASP and repeatedly struck Jesse in the upper left side of his left thigh.
     ”Back-up units were requested to Jesse’s house, wherein upward of 20 police officers from different jurisdictions were present.
     ”At no point, even after being advised of Jesse’s mental challenge/handicap by Jesse’s family and numerous bystanders, did defendant Hooper, defendant Howard, or any other police officer present, attempt to communicate with Jesse or explain in terms he could understand as to why Jesse was being chased.
     ”Jesse was handcuffed and hogtied before being placed in the back of a police cruiser.
     ”Jesse was charged with assault on a peace officer, resisting arrest, and obstructing official business.”
     However, “Jesse was declared incompetent by the Montgomery County Juvenile Court and the charges against Jesse were dismissed.”
     Jesse and his mom seek damages from the city and the two lead officers, for false imprisonment, false arrest, malicious prosecution, assault, battery, excessive use of force, infliction of emotional distress and civil conspiracy.
     They are represented by Richard Boucher.

She also identified another potentially lucrative market: Women who recently had divorced or were divorcing Aspie husbands, and who would lap up a sympathetic counselor’s assurances that they were not to blame for the divorce because autistic men were neurologically defective and unfit for marriage. To cover this blatantly unethical prejudice with a veneer of respectability, Aston proceeded to create “Cassandra Affective Deprivation Disorder,” which she defined as a depressive condition caused by being in a relationship with an autistic person.

fragmentsofstuff:

covers anxiety and depression, disablist social exclusion and its effects, paradoxical reactions to medication, clueless professionals, and more