“There’s no way to win with NTs. It’s been proven that most people are better friends with people close by to them, but if *you* do it, it’s pathological. Most people make friends based on common interest, but if you do that, you’re calculatingly selecting friends for their “utility”. Even if you say “I love you” verbally out loud they’ll just call it echolalia (see “autism every day”).” - a comment on someone’s facebook, I guess I should keep it anonymous, unless the writer requests credit. but I really liked it.
Everything we do is medicalized, even when it’s the same as everyone else does.
Dean Spade is probably my favorite human.
The idea that people cannot find (do not deserve) love, particularly true or perfect love, if they are ‘broken’ or ‘damaged’ is in fact quite common in this society. Many people happily parrot this idea along with self-helpy jargon like needing to love yourself before you seek love. Which is a reminder to broken people, to people who may hate themselves for whatever reason, that they don’t deserve love (we don’t deserve so many things…to live, to speak, to have opinions…).
It is also particularly common to claim that people with mental illness, some diagnoses in particular, are inherently bad and dangerous and harmful and shouldn’t be in relationships/don’t deserve love because they will just hurt people. People have told me to my face at feminist conferences that people with my diagnoses are damaging and dangerous and shouldn’t be allowed to have relationships. Human connections.
The idea of denying love to any human being repulses me. The idea of proudly crowing that you feel some human beings don’t deserve love, or friendship, can never find these things, because they are ‘sick’…it’s not particularly new or revolutionary.