“There’s no way to win with NTs. It’s been proven that most people are better friends with people close by to them, but if *you* do it, it’s pathological. Most people make friends based on common interest, but if you do that, you’re calculatingly selecting friends for their “utility”. Even if you say “I love you” verbally out loud they’ll just call it echolalia (see “autism every day”).” - a comment on someone’s facebook, I guess I should keep it anonymous, unless the writer requests credit. but I really liked it.
Everything we do is medicalized, even when it’s the same as everyone else does.
Dean Spade, For Lovers and Fighters (via tgstonebutch)
Dean Spade is probably my favorite human.
(via hickiesandhotpants)
GPOY
(via waxpapereyes)(signal boost) New Project
Something about Autistic+Non-autistic friendships.
Cracked Mirror in Shalott: Indistinguishability and Modeling
… Or, to a friend or Three.
We’ve taken the modeling that people provided as a stop gap for indistinguishability- a goal that ignores who we are and what our needs are- and we’ve added it to the things we count as skills. We’ve allowed for things that tear us down to oversee how we build our lives.
Yay, always exciting when I get out enough words in enough of an order for a new wordpress post!
TV Show To Tackle Dating With Disabilities
The dating life of people with disabilities will be the focus of a new reality show on British television dubbed “The Undateables.”
The show — set to air next year on England’s Channel 4 — will follow people with a wide range of conditions including Asperger’s syndrome, Tourette syndrome and narcolepsy.
All of the individuals selected to participate will have disabilities that impact their ability to develop relationships, show officials said.
“The program will chart their quest to find love in an image-obsessed world where people are too quick to make snap judgements or assumptions based on first impressions, and even consider such people to be ‘undateable,’” according to information from the television station.
A dating agency will set up show participants with potential matches, some with and without disabilities themselves.
“We want to challenge people’s perceptions about what is considered to be ‘normal,’ but ultimately this isn’t going to be a program about disability. It’s about a universal desire to find love,” said Liam Humphreys who commissioned the show for Channel 4.
This could be interesting or horrible. Thoughts?
The idea that people cannot find (do not deserve) love, particularly true or perfect love, if they are ‘broken’ or ‘damaged’ is in fact quite common in this society. Many people happily parrot this idea along with self-helpy jargon like needing to love yourself before you seek love. Which is a reminder to broken people, to people who may hate themselves for whatever reason, that they don’t deserve love (we don’t deserve so many things…to live, to speak, to have opinions…).
It is also particularly common to claim that people with mental illness, some diagnoses in particular, are inherently bad and dangerous and harmful and shouldn’t be in relationships/don’t deserve love because they will just hurt people. People have told me to my face at feminist conferences that people with my diagnoses are damaging and dangerous and shouldn’t be allowed to have relationships. Human connections.
The idea of denying love to any human being repulses me. The idea of proudly crowing that you feel some human beings don’t deserve love, or friendship, can never find these things, because they are ‘sick’…it’s not particularly new or revolutionary.
(Source: se-smith)
Poem, Written August 4 2010
Feet
The arch curling round
bracing around what is surely
those absences society sees in us
the lack- they say lack
lack, a word with so much of saying
that there is something that
should must be there
but isn’t-
of eyes touching
easy embrace
the societally explained expectations
that lead only to disappointment
when pursued-
in my experience at least.
Instead there is that space
of each of us being our own
beings
and yet united
continued, flowing, unlimited
by the bonds of societal affection.
our skills and wants and needs
uniquely ours and yet
a part and parcel of the drive
or desire of one whole.
United only by
the touching of our feet.
I recorded a couple of poems last night. This is the first one.
Also, figured out how to use the transcript feature- have a plain .txt file witht he words in it, and upload it as a transcript. You don’t need to do the timing, Youtube will do it for you!
Better accessibility through technology!
