- Emma Stone: But people do always ask that. They ask who is my style icon, what's the one thing that I can't leave my house without. I'm always like, "My clothes!" I can pretty much leave without anything. It's fine as long as I'm not naked.
- Andrew Garfield: I don't get asked that—
- Emma Stone: You get asked interesting, poignant questions because you are a boy.
- Teen Vogue: It's sexism.
- Emma Stone: It is sexism.
I know I’m not the only woman who has experienced the “Smile!” phenomenon. Mention such an incident to any woman on the planet and prepare for a stream of obscenity-laden anecdotes and suggestive hand gestures.
In the top ten of female peeves it’s right at the top. I’d rather hear a frat boy scream, “show me your t-ts” than have one more middle-aged nincompoop command I say cheese in precisely the same spirit of “fun” that a movie cowboy pulls out a gun and tells the town drunk to dance.
Agree. I hate when men tell me to smile as if I need to put on a mask for them so that they feel better about themselves. If women look happy then apparently they are happy, everyone gets along, and the world is clearly ‘right’ again. F—that. I smile plenty but certainly not to make others feel more comfortable. That’s not my job. That’s not any woman’s.
THIS. Ordering me to smile does not make me want to smile. What it does is make me want to punch you in the nuts. Repeatedly.
Telling me to smile makes me want to tell the dude to fuck off and let out my inner bitch.
When you have Resting Bitchface, you hear “smile” quite often. I’ve taken to smiling maniacally like the Joker and crossing my eyes, which usually makes these assholes scurry off in fear.
I, too, suffer from Resting Bitchface, with periodic bouts of Apparently Intensely Sad. I am so damned sick of people asking what’s wrong—I like your tactic. Will have to try it.(via politeyeti)
the myth of the perfect 1950’s woman
While in the middle of an anti-sexism reflective essay, I can’t help but sound sexist.
I am a feminist also, so hear me out.
Women in the 50’s CARED about how they looked, they were well presented, classy and had pride in themselves. They put a face of make up on (which I am not saying is essential) and they cared about their figure. Sure they had more time than most women do in this day and age. What I am saying is that majority of women I see (take note I live in logan) don’t have any pride or care in themselves anymore. I applaud feminist movements and all that but why must we be rough about it? You can follow any trend you want, but do it properly? Oh man. I have dug myself a hole.
**edit: women were actually taught how to take care of everything.
Hopefully you don’t take this the wrong way. I just think “what is the point of living if you can’t even take care of your insides and outsides??”
I get what you’re saying but as a feminist I think you can begin a further critique of these subjects, assuming you actually want to push further in your examination of sexism etc. As another blogger pointed out, think about what you’re really picturing in your head. I’m guessing you weren’t alive in the 1950’s- neither was I. So what is your “ideal world” based off of? Tv shows and movies from that time period, or shows and movies now made to replicate that time period?
Our american collective memory has only remembered in all these things, the story of the middle-class, white american family. Not all women and men lived like this. Those tv shows and well known photos aren’t an accurate reflection of the average American life. Most women didn’t wear immaculate makeup everyday. Sure, they might have been more dressy, but my own mother still remembers when they (the girls) were first allowed to wear pants to school. Not even jeans: just pants. We tend to associate skirts and dresses with being “more classy/dressy” because they are more traditionally feminine, it may seem like these women were perhaps “more classy,” but really their choices were just more constricted.
And to say, as people often lament, that women suddenly started going to work just this century is one of the biggest myths we have fallen into believing. Only in the middle and upper class was this true- women in the lower class/near or at poverty were already working from the time they were teenagers. But their stories are forgotten because they are either not white, or weren’t upper or middle class.
“Women in the 50’s CARED about how they looked” Women today still care, they just are more likely to care in the sense that they dress more to please themselves rather than just look pleasing to other people. Why is your mind telling you that women don’t care enough about how they look now/should spend a lot more time caring about how they look to other people?
“And they cared about their figure.” This feels like body policing. Turn on the tv- switch to any channel whose demographic is adult (like, not Disney etc). Count how many diet commercials you will observe within a single half hour, and then try to tell me that women today don’t care/aren’t worried about their figure. And don’t forget, as a feminist, to examine intersecting privileges here; there is often a direct correlation between poverty and the ability to maintain a healthy diet.
One Thursday last month, during the lunch hour at H.D. Woodson Senior High School, half a dozen teenage boys have gathered to eat pizza and talk about hollering at women. “From where I come from, you holler at a girl,” one student tells the group. “A girl can’t be too upset when a guy is paying attention to her.” “It depends on the type of girl and whether she has respect for herself,” another says. “Some girls will say, stop. But they like it, for real.” “If she’s wearing short shorts, booty shorts, short skirt, with the thong showing, she wants it,” another guy says. “Can’t blame it on the boy. She knows what she’s doing.
“But what if it’s hot out?” This is Kedrick Griffin. He’s here to play the 37-year-old devil’s advocate on a subject that’s generally considered normal behavior for a teenage boy in the District of Columbia. This exercise has come almost at the end of a year-long District program called the “Men of Strength” club—MOST Club, for short. The same pattern is repeated with groups of boys in public middle and high schools across the District: Come for the pizza, stay for the deconstructions of masculinity.
I can’t even begin to express how much I love this.
it is so so so important that people are doing this. i’m grateful to all programs like this.
I’m so glad this is happening
A lot of people seem to implicitly think that racism, misogyny, and homophobia are fairly rare things in our society. The corollary to this is that racist beliefs are only held by racists, and racists are the sort of extreme aberrations from mainstream society who burn crosses on people’s lawns. So when you say that what person X said is offensive, they think “No way! Person X wouldn’t burn a cross.” I think this is where “it wasn’t intended to be offensive, so it must not be offensive” comes from.
This worldview presents a double whammy, because even if you can convince them something is technically problematic, it’s not related to any systematic problems in our society, so it’s still no big deal. A comment by Autumn Harvest on No Cookies For Me: Blatant Sexism *Isn’t* Benign, Thank You… (via cultureofresistance)
Something that bugs
When autistic women explain their differences…by saying really sexist things about allistic women. Urgh. Really, really not cool.
I’ve always thought my history is somewhat unusual for an autistic woman in that most of my friends, when I’ve had them, have been girls/women. I get the impression that that’s not so common? Sigh—one more thing that causes me to doubt my diagnosis.
In the past I have been hurt—sometimes quite badly—by allistic girls/women whom I’ve thought to be my friends. It sucks, and I understand the feeling mystified by the complexities of social interactions amongst groups of women. But to repeat sexist canards is not okay. I also think there’s a danger of promoting a particular image of “the default autistic women” which marginalizes autistic women who may have more stereotypically feminine interests.